A sad weekend

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to officiate a memorial service for a couple in our church. The daughter was delivered early due to complications with a tumor and lived for only 18 hours. Saturday would have marked this precious little girl's one year birthday. Needless to say it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I had seen some pictures and heard the whole story but was not prepared for the video slide show that replayed much of the story. In that moment, I was rushed back to all of the feelings an emotion that we felt when Leah was in distress during delivery and her stay in the NICU...in that moment I learned a little more about being a pastor. I had to literally tell myself to "get up" and go deliver my message when all I really wanted to do was sit there and cry. By the grace of God (and me taking the time to thankfully write out my message verbatim), we got through it and it was a beautiful time. I am now torn...everything in me hopes that I never have to EVER do a child's funeral/memorial again, however, I saw the hope and gratitude resulting from the process and consider it an honor to have served a family in this way. Another day, another opportunity to grow in my understanding of God's love and the value of community. Thank you for supporting us and being a part of our community that we consider "family".